January 27, 2012

so many choices. What shall I wear?

I am still without a camera phone hence the lack of posts. This is really frustrating because in the last two weeks i’ve seen some exceptional specimens which I would have loved to share with you all. Sadly it wasn’t meant to be.

But fret not because whilst tidying up my desktop I came across a few snaps i’d taken last year and i’d put aside for ‘later’. Now ‘later’ has come and it’s time to share them but not all at once because I wouldn’t want to spoil you.

Pearly Queen

Black sparkly cap, sequin bag and leopard print jacket. Slightly confused to say the least. Is this a noughties version of a Pearly Queen?

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January 3, 2012

New Year, new leather clothes

It’s only day 3 of 2012 and so far i’ve been sent a pic of some yellow leather booties (see the People You’ve Seen On The Street page) and this very fetching purple leather trenchcoat. Or perhaps it’s some sort of plastic. Whatever it is, it’s certainly purple. Ribena berry man would be proud. Or jealous.

Anyone seen my son the Ribena berry?

I stupidly put my iPhone in the washing machine this Christmas which means that I now have a rubbish phone which cost £11.99 and doesn’t have a camera. I snapped this lady with my digital camera (pretended that I was looking at my Christmas snaps) but i’m not sure how long i’ll get away with using my actual camera… STUPID.

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December 16, 2011

Snow – snow on the ground. Time for wellies and thick socks

This morning, in Hertfordshire, I woke up to a decent sprinkling of snow on the ground. YES Christmas is 9 days away, the tree is up, the presents are wrapped and i’ve already put on at least 2 holiday stones. It’s going to be a good one.

I left the house wearing leopard print wellies, two pairs of socks, humungous parka, cashmere scarf and mittens and I still felt cold. So why on earth is this man wearing deck shoes/loafers in this weather – without socks. Seriously??? You are moronic dude, you will catch your death and be ill for Christmas. Wrap up and stay warm please. That’s an order.

icey toes

Dandy Dolittle

Take a leaf out of the lady sitting next to you’s book. She knows how to dress for the winter willies.

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December 14, 2011

Nose pickers BEWARE

YES beware because I am on to you. It’s gross, vile and mega disgusting dudes and should most definitely not be done in public. Especially when you can see that I’m staring at you in disgust.

I particularly hate the snap i’ve taken of the hand going up to his snozzcumber again. BOGEYS.

Are you really that hungry? Why not try a Kit Kat instead?

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December 13, 2011

Knit Knit Knitting on the Northern Line

I love to knit and have been on and off since my Granny taught me when I was 5 years old. Sadly the only stitches that i can do are knit and pearl. However, I do make rather lovely scarves but i’ve never tried to read a pattern or to make anything vaguely taxing…. perhaps that should be my New Years resolution for 2012.

Until the other day i’d never seen a man knit, then surprise surprise look what I stumbled upon on the Northern Line home. I tried my hardest not too stare but it was impossible, I was mesmerized by the concentration on his face. Not particularly keen on the choice of yarn though. If you’re reading this Knitting Man why not try some Rowan wool - http://www.knitrowan.com/ they may be a bit spenny but it’s def worth it.

 

Yes I know i’ve ignored the trousers… don’t get me started….

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December 7, 2011

Why are you so blue little chicken?

I know it’s getting cold and that London is pretty grey and depressing right now but that’s no reason to look so glum. Cheer up little one.

life sucks bums.

Why not try a different shade of blue… your current colour is looking washed out and a little depressed – take a leaf out of Kary Perry’s wacky book. She knows how to have a good time, look at her – she screams FUN.

You could even braid it….

or not.

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December 6, 2011

Too many mince pies, not enough fabric

I’m struggling with my weight and like many ladies out there I begin a new diet only to get bored and give it up after 4 days. This then causes me to hate myself and to stuff my fat podgy face with even more calories than I was doing pre diet. Before I can control myself i’ve put on another stone and i’m worse off than when I started. Life is unfair.

BUT thanks to this man i’ve found the ideal solution to my problem. Kaftans. YES if I wear a kaftan then I can hide my flabby bits and carry on scoffing. After all it’s clearly working for him.

Olé

Or I suppose I could exercise, but where’s the fun in that?

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December 2, 2011

My eyes, my eyes – the sun is in my EYES

No lady you are not sitting by the pool in Tuscany, you are in fact on a packed train into London on a grey and dreary day. And on top of that you’re in a tunnel. There cannot be even the slightest bit of sunshine in your eyes.

Damn you sunshine

Sunglasses used for ‘coolness’ drive be absolutely bonkers. Unless you’re famous and are trying to hide your identity from the public, then obviously they make COMPLETE sense.

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November 18, 2011

Stud U Like?

Anyone seen my viagra?

Hmmm interesting faux leather spike bag. Sadly one of the pointy bits has lost it’s mojo and is now limp.

Rupert doesn’t seem to care though. He’s still rocking the look. Or he hasn’t noticed.

Rupert the Bear

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November 17, 2011

Mistaken Identity

I sometimes wish that I was from another country but sadly i’m most definitely not. It’s my pasty white skin and freckles that give me away. Not to mention my ‘stiff upper lip’ and inability to laugh at myself.

This man seems a little lost to me. Way too many logos…. One is more than enough. None is better than one. Two is stupid.

Where am I?

 

(I love England – honestly I do. I would never move to another country because I can’t speak any other language and because i’m lazy and really like Eastenders, Marmite and Made In Chelsea).

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